The Burkerts 3

Wahoo,

I am writing to you from the comfort of granny and grandpa’s spare bedroom in Beaufort, SC! Neither of us had ever been to visit the cottage, so we took a couple of weeks and came for a visit! Our trip is 14 days total, and we are spending a little over half of that in Beaufort/Abbeville, with the rest of the time spent with Emily, Mya and Thunder (and our other friends) in Nashville! How lucky we are to be able to take such an extravagant trip. Enjoy it–it’s probably the only one we’ll take this year!

To begin, you weren’t so sure about flying on an airplane, even though you’ve done it twice before. I can’t really blame you, as both your previous trips were before you were six months old, and because I’m not the most confident flier in all the land. To prepare you for our big trip, I tried my best to tell you a lot about what you could expect from the flight. I may have overdone it because when I told you that the plane went very, very fast in order to get to our destination very quickly, you seemed to get a tad stuck on exactly how fast was very, very fast. I don’t know how to explain 500 miles per hour to a five year old, so I just told you it was faster than a train and not as fast as a rocket ship. That seemed to help. We sat in the airport looking out at our plane for a long time. I pointed out to you all the things I knew, i.e. where the luggage went, what the walkway from the building to the plane was, etc. Once it was time for us to get board, I thought you were armed full of knowledge and confidence, but apparently your armor failed you at the end of the causeway. You started to tremble and said you did not want to get on the plane. I was a tad confounded–some things we can blow off and try again next time, but two tickets across the country? Find your inner pilot, girl. Anyway, I asked the flight attendant if she might be able to help get you on the plane, and she suggested that you talk to the pilots! We stood just outside the cockpit and the pilots showed you all the gears and knobs, buttons and lights. This seemed to help, although the flight attendant said you never looked at anything you were being shown as you had your head buried in my shoulder the whole time.

Eventually we made it to our seats, started chewing our gum and prepared for takeoff. You weren’t too sure how much you loved the takeoff–you said it made your stomach hurt–but once we were in the air, we were golden! You drew pictures, sang songs and I read a book to you. We ate our snacks, enjoyed our complimentary beverages, looked out the windows and in no time, we were on the ground again! TADA! We never got off the plane in Texas, which was fine (although we were hungry), and by the time we took off for the last leg of our journey you were a seasoned traveler. Well done, wahoo! And, thank you, Southwest. You made a lifelong fan in the wahoo’s momma that day.

We got into Nashville around 6 pm Tuesday night, and were greeted at the airport by Emily and Mya. YAY! I don’t remember much about Tuesday night except that we ate ice cream at Jeni’s, which was delicious but expensive for my tastes. You and Mya slept together Tuesday night and were very good about going right to bed, although Wednesday morning was a little rough. Mya woke you up around 6 am her time, which was 3 am your time. The two of you played until one of the Jones’–maybe Thunder–found you and put you back to bed. I woke up around 7:30 and peeked in on you, then found myself wondering if you were really asleep or just scared to move because you had already been put back to bed once. After that early morning disaster we had to all agree that the two of you could only sleep together if Mya let you sleep in the morning; fortunately, we had no difficulties after that first evening.

It was cool to be back in Nashville, although I didn’t find myself hankering to return. Wednesday morning we went to the bakery and I got what may be the single longest hug in the history of mankind from Ellen. It was AMAZING to see GranDan and GranEl. You were very tired by the time we got to the bakery, so you weren’t overly friendly, but I think they understood. After the bakery we went home, had some lunch and then had a little rest time. The rest of the afternoon we just spent playing outside and having fun. You and Mya are funny together–you both have missed one another so, so, so much, but then you took a little while to adjust to one another’s style of play. Mya very much likes to be in control of the action, but she doesn’t have much interest in playing school or fairies, two of your favorite games. At times there were some stepped on feelings, which coupled with jet lag morphed into big mope-fests, but after the first full day you seemed a little better at being less sensitive. Anyway, eventually the two of you discovered chalk and made a rainbow path in the backyard, which was enjoyable for everyone.

The finished product.

Silly girls!

Playing on the jungle gym.

Reading to your Ringo and the real live George. I’m certain beyond hesitation that both Ringo and George (real, not stuffed) are DELIGHTED that you are gone, as you found it your personal mission to pester the ever-livin’ daylights out of both of them. This was one of the tamer moments.

Strike the band.

If I had to guess I’d say your probably listening to Mya give you your instructions here.

And then here you are doing it however you want while Mya looks at you like, “Seriously?! You can’t even follow the simple instructions I gave you!”

The post-fuss pout. We see a lot of this rooster lip these days.

Friends.

On Thursday we took you ladies to a very cool new city-run water park in Nashville, where the two of you proceeded to get soaked and have a blast. Reminiscent of our trip to Livermore last summer, no?

I love it. Look at that big ole’ smile on Mya Jones’ face!

You are both so lovely and dear and precious. God bless you both.

Running through the mist trail, with the Nashville skyline in the background. So pretty.

Friday you both went to Mya’s school for the day, which meant Emily and I got some quality time to just chill. I got the pleasure of seeing her dad, whom I ADORE! We went and ate lunch at the Nashville Biscuit House, which was tasty and fun, and I got to go see Dan and Ellen again. When we picked you up from school we learned that no one had taken a nap, so you were both tired. We came home, had a snack then had some rest time. I know that you drew for a good long time during rest time because the picture you were working on was finished when I finally went in to wake you up after two hours. My guess is that while Mya went straight to sleep at the beginning of rest time, you drew for a long time and had only recently fallen asleep when I woke you up. We were supposed to go to a party that evening, but you were so out of sorts that I wound up staying home with you while Emily took Mya. Not exactly the way we thought we’d spend our last evening together, but c’est la vie. We had dinner at the Wild Cow, then came home and had a pirate dance party. When Mya got home, you guys played for about 45 minutes then hit the sack. Emily and I spent the remainder of the night just talking and laughing. Words can’t really describe how wonderful it is to get to be with the Jones again.

Saturday morning was quick–we got up, got packed and got on the road. Emily and Mya drove us to Knoxville, where we got painfully lost due to my excrutiating sense of direction (map in hand), then righted ourselves and met granny and grandpa at the world’s busiest Chick-fil-A. All I can say about Saturday is that it was a long day in the car, I’m glad we don’t have to do that often and you and your grandmother are trouble. The two of you get downright deviant together and just sit in the back and make mischief. You spin up your trouble and then sweetly say, “The Diana Katharine’s are trouble, tee hee hee!” Yes, well. It’s just good the two of you are cute.

When we arrived in Abbeville we stopped at a strawberry field and picked some strawberries. They were tiny, but they were tasty. It was a nice way to get out of the car for a little while.

Cute little strawberry picker.

You and granny, fuzzy but cute.

A little dog we befriended at the strawberry field.

You are a friend to animals, girl.

We arrived in Abbeville with just enough time left for you to go to bed. Goodnight, miss goose girl.

Sunday granny had arranged for the Wieters/Nagoa clan to come see us, so around 1:30 here everyone came. You had a wonderful time seeing all your second (third?) cousins, although you were very slow to warm when they first showed up. You perkied up after a game of hide and seek, although we had a catastrophic moment when someone–we don’t know who because no one confessed–slammed two of your fingers in a door. Your poor little fingers had big indentations in them, which looked crazy painful. Fortunately you were able to muster up your will to go on and after about fifteen minutes resumed playing. It was great to see everyone, although they all left much too early. From about 4:00 on you played with Cleveland, who you announced was now your husband. Sorry Duck and Morgan. We went to bed early-ish in preparation for another long day in the car on Monday, when we’d be driving from Abbeville to Cumming, GA to see my aunt Sue and uncle Bill, then from Cumming to Beaufort.

It was great to see my aunt and uncle. I never know how many more times I will see the two of them together, as we don’t often get to see them. You were a little nervous around uncle Bill, which is understandable as he is not able to interact particularly well. It is such a shame because he was such a positive, powerful force in my life. He was athletic, smart, had a happy family life, and was always kind to me and my siblings. I’m sorry for your sake that you won’t know him the way that I was able to.

What to say about the second way-too-long day in the car? It was long, but it was fun. Once again the trouble sat together in the backseat and giggled and laughed throughout the journey. We had lunch in Augusta at a place called Rhinehart’s, where some concerned citizen called the police department to report that we had a dog in the car. It was a little mortifying to be the face of animal neglect at that particular locale, but there you have it. We had parked in a shady spot and Cleveland was content as could be. Even the officer that spoke with grandpa said he thought it was a little much. You might think that a restaurant that publishes this book (see below) would not be too concerned about a shady dog’s well being, but there you have it.

As a special treat to all of us for being on our best long haul behavior, we went through a drive-thru to get some ice cream about an hour and a half away from Beaufort. Your grandpa inquired as to whether they had ice cream cones. The woman working the drive-thru said, “No sir, we have cups, shakes and sandwiches.” I asked him to get some clarification about what cups meant (i.e. scoops in a cup, pre-filled, etc.), so he says, “What do you mean by cups?” After a brief but loaded pause, the woman comes on the speaker and says, “The ice cream comes in a cup, sir.” After about 10.5 hours on the road, this was enough to send me and your granny into fits of laughter, which you immediately joined. Jesus, please get these people out of the car–they have gone mental.

BEAUFORT!! We finally made it to the cottage, again just in time for bed. You did take a few minutes to walk around and exclaim, “It’s so pretty” about nearly everything you saw; I’m sure your grandmother was delighted. We went to bed, slept soundly and woke up rarin’ to go! First stop, the beach. Child, if your granny hasn’t prayed a thousand prayers that she wouldn’t one day soon be able to take her one and only grandchild into the Atlantic! You were a little nervous at first, as you are prone to be, but soon were having a ball.

BEACH GIRLS!

Aww, you guys are cute.

Sitting with your momma, letting the waves crash over us. Heavenly.

Having a picnic. See how different the Carolina coast is from LA?

You caught a few mouthfuls of saltwater, which impacted your overall impressions of the day, but I dare say you had fun. And your granny? On cloud nine, kid. Can’t pay for that kind of joy.

The next day (Wednesday) granny and grandpa took us out in their little boat on the Morgan River. Grandpa let you drive the boat, which you did but only very briefly–I was thrilled nonetheless. It was your and Cleveland’s first time in the boat, and you both did beautifully. It was gorgeous and so fun. There is really nothing like seeing all the shrimp boats on the water, along with the Spanish moss and old houses. So, so pretty. As I told grandpa, if it just wasn’t so hot and buggy. As he told me, then everyone would want to live here. Touche, grandpa. Anyway, we saw several pods of dolphins, a lot of birds and a whole heap of mini-crabs, which you found delightful.

Not entirely sure about this…

Hooray, Cleveland! Way to be a boat dog, dude!

Drive, captain, drive!

Warming up to the position a little.

She likes it!

Me and my very favorite little girl. I’m smitten with you, lovely wahoo.

Today we went back to the beach, this time with grandpa and Cleveland. You were very clear that you were not going to want to go in the ocean, but within about an hour there was one little underwear-clad mermaid in the water. Good job, little beach girl. My heart swells for you.

Your grandpa can sleep anywhere. It’s a little astonishing.

Granny’s beach feet. I like this picture.

Doing a little ocean ballet in your under-drawers!

Three generations and a dog.

Last little tidbit, I was just walking out of the ocean when I turned around and saw four dolphins swimming very near the shoreline. I immediately turned and ran back into the water, determined to get close to them. Wahoo, I swear to you that those dolphins were not more than fifteen feet in front of me, and I was ecstatic. I’ve never experienced anything like that in my life. When I got out of the water I was like a child, telling passing strangers that I had just swum with the dolphins! Learn to swim, wahoo, and take full advantage of all the beauty and amazement the ocean has to offer. You will be missing out if you allow yourself to be scared of it.

More later as we continue on our journey!

Wahoo,

Most of the time I write about things happening just within the confines of our happy little threesome (plus Duck), however there is so much happening within our circle of family that I thought I’d take a moment to let you know that you come from interesting, spirited folks.

First off, your uncle Wilson has wanted to be a concert promoter for approximately ever. While he managed to land a very respectable job in Norman as a sales rep for Oklahoma Foam, he has just started to have some genuine success in this, his passion. He just finished working to with the group that puts on the Norman Music Festival, and though the days were long, the work was exhausting and the payoff is perhaps negligible financially, he got his first major taste of living his dream. He is now an established part of the Norman concert promotion scene and the Burkerts 3 could not be more proud of him.

Next, your cousin Brandon completed his first marathon last weekend! Ole’ boy ran with the elites for about the first half of the race–WHAT?!–then realized that he still had a second half to go, but he did it! The pictures of him booking across the finish line make me smile every time I look at them. I love that there is another person in this family who loves running. Go ‘head on, Brandon!

Continuing on, your NeeNee and Poppy have rented their house in Madison for a year, during which they are embarking on a multi-country journey! As it stands right now, they are going to go to British Columbia, then go to North Carolina and Arizona for Mark’s work, then perhaps take off for Ecuador. WHAT?! Who know, wahoo, maybe we’ll get to visit them abroad during their journey. Very cool, NeeNee and Poppy!

Other adventurous grandparents include your granny and grandpa, both of whom have a taste for international travel. Your grandpa just got back from Rota, Spain where he went for the second time to work with native Spanish speakers on their English. God help us all–there are probably a bunch of Spaniards walking around quoting Bill O’Reilly and Rush Limbaugh now… I think it’s so amazing that grandpa does this work, although given that he and granny did a Habitat build in Africa, what else would you expect? Your granny is about to head to Florida for her annual trip with the beach girls. She has been going to Sarasota with these same friends for the last 25 years, which I find inspirational and truly wonderful. I hope you can be so lucky to have such good friends, kid.

And then there are the aunties. These two amazing women, the proprietors of the House of Love, have to be two of the kindest, most generous people alive. As they are building out their attic into a master bedroom suite (doing almost all of the work themselves), they have also been hosting both Kathryn’s Gran, who has lived with them for a long while, and Kathryn’s mother! Good LORD! Seriously, I don’t know if I could do it, wahoo. I love my home–it is my sanctuary. I love visitors, and I love when the visitors leave. I’m mesmerized by how giving the aunties are. They certainly are a wonderful pair.

So there you have it. We are lucky. We come from good, loving, ambitious, generous people.

Lastly, today you and I made the first homemade pie crust that actually came out well, and my goodness, but it is delicious! The difference may have been that we prayed the great kitchen prayer before we cooked. You stood on a stool, we faced each other, held hands and very solemnly asked for some pastry guidance from the heavens above. Amen. You then rolled your eyes at me (or did some other very teenagery thing, like sigh and say, “Ma-ahm!” Ah, five…)

You and Morgan are dear friends. Most of the time you act like brother and sister, although almost as often you act like a married couple on the brink of disaster. Apparently today Morgan muttered, “I’m going to kill my wife,” to which you promptly replied, “Do not kill me, kill the baby!”

I guess you’d better look out, Mattie.

Yeah, generally we are a healthy people, but you wouldn’t know it. You and your dad are sick, sick, sick! You and I were supposed traveling to Nashville/South Carolina right now, but you got sick two days before we were to leave and I had to cancel the trip (after a ridiculous amount of hemming and hawing). You stayed sick for a couple of days, and then started to perky up. It was during your recuperation that your dad’s health went south. Poor guy was in bed nonstop for two days with a wretched fever, and has since had phlegm, stuffiness, an inability to sleep well and general weariness. Just as I thought you were over your illness, your behavior tanked. You started having massive tantrums, wetting the bed, bumping into everything and a crazy (CUH-RAY-ZEE) bad attitude. As it happens, you have a double ear infection. You are now on antibiotics. I’m not aware that they do much for dispositions, but a worn out momma can hope! I am one of the very few people in our circle of friends that has not had any sort of illness, and am hoping to keep it that way. After I got you in bed last night, but before you started sobbing for an hour and a half, I went and swam laps for a half an hour. Today I took vitamin C and then went for a beautiful run with Duck. Hopefully exercise will be enough to ward off the insanity that has been this bug!

In other news, the other day I found you on the porch, painting Duck’s foot with black paint. You were smooshing his foot down on the patio floor so that you could see his lovely black footprint. Fortunately I caught you at this before he came onto our white carpet. I yelled at you to “GO TO YOUR ROOM,” which made you cry. I cleaned off his foot–which he did not love–then you and I had a little talk about white carpet. I told you that this was very boneheaded behavior and you were not to do it again. Hopefully that can be a one-time conversation.

Later that evening I found you sobbing at the sink, crying out, “I want momma,” as toothpaste dribbled down your neck. I’m pretty sure I yelled at you to stop being helpless: Burkerts don’t do helpless, wahoo. I mean, seriously? You have been brushing your teeth for over three years. I’m sure toothpaste burns as it travels down one’s skin, but that’s what the faucet is for!

Yeah, we’re a healthy people. Except when we aren’t. Currently we are a pathetic, short-tempered clan of misery. And I’m not even sick. Health can’t come soon enough.

Wahoo,

I’ve got to get better about doing smaller blog posts more often, especially if we’re going to have months as jam packed as last March! Whew, honey chile! The very most important thing to report is that we had an extra special visitor, a person we hadn’t seen for over a year: GRANNY!!!! Now, I’m excited about every visitor we get, but I have never in my life gone over a year without seeing my mama, so I was particularly thrilled she finally came out. This blog post is going to be long and I don’t think I’ll be able to recount all the tales. Granny, please share your memories.

We don’t bring everyone gifts when they arrive, but fifteen months?! Flowers and wine for granny!

You and I wrote “Welcome to LA, granny” and drew a few pictures on the mirror next to her bed. The two of you promptly set about adding to the picture.

Silliness.

On our way to the SM pier. Granny was not a big fan of Venice Beach–a bit to carney for her tastes.

Love the shades, girl.

Not sure this could be any cuter.

This looks pretty nice. It might surprise you to know that you melted down shortly after this picture was taken.

First time the two Diana Katharine’s are venturing into the Pacific together!

Holy guacamole, that is some CHILLY water!

You know I’m not a big fan of heights, so any chance to get out of riding a ferris wheel and I’ll take it! I waved to you, and this is you waving back.

Get ready!

You loved this ride at Knott’s Berry Farm. I don’t know what changed between then and now, but you did not enjoy this ride. Your face never really changed, although at one point you moved your little hand to clutch your stomach. Sorry, little buddy.

We went on a whale watching tour in Dana Point. It was really fun, although chilly. We saw a grey whale, dolphins and some frolicking seals. Neat!

It took you a little while to get hip to the boat, but eventually you perkied up.

Three generations of whale watchers!

At breakfast after whale watching. I love, love, love this picture.

You and granny doing the dishes. You were pretty excited about dish washing. I can only hope this enthusiasm will hold through your teen years.

You did it! Dishwasher extraordinaire!

It thrills me that you still like to cook with me!

Strike a pose, wahoo! You are silly, girl.

You come up with some true culinary concoctions. Thankfully you are not insistent about us trying them out. So far you are pretty good at allowing us to just “yum, yum, yum” and take pretend bites.

True love.

He puts up with so much. What a dog…

Outside Dodger stadium, ready to get race swag!

Met up with Bill Lockton at the expo. Bill is an interesting guy. I met him through the LA Leggers, and quickly learned about his status as a record-setting ultra-marathoner. I think it’s cool that he is chock full of information about running and happy to share it. Through the training program we developed a little friendship, which is nice. Always cool to have new friends.

Picking up my race number!

I was so excited that I found you and grandpa at mile 13. I love, love, love this picture.

Talking to Emily just before the finish line. I called her at about mile 26 and thought we’d chat all the way in to the finish. As it happens, after running 26 miles, I didn’t want to talk on the phone and I was scared that Emily was going to run out of encouraging things to say. I asked her if I could put her down and talk again right as I was going under the finish, which is what happened. As I cruised under the finish I had my dearest friend with me on the line. I yelled, “Here we go, Em!” as I ran over the line, and when I brought the phone back to my ear I heard the sounds of Emily sobbing. This is a first in our relationship. Normally if one of us is going to be in tears, it’s this rock of jello.

I DID IT!

Even though I sort of thought I was going to cry and vomit while I got post-race physical therapist stretching, I am convinced it is why I recovered as well as I did.

My race crew. Your dad volunteered to “tow-truck” me into the finish. For a guy who doesn’t enjoy running particularly, you never would have known it on race day. He blew through the last four miles of the race. Of course, he said it was fun to hear people tell him how good he looked at mile 22–unbeknownst to them he had just jumped in the race. I think that your dad just needs a finish line and a crowd and he’d be a runner extraordinaire!

I love Carole, my other tow-truck. What a good friend.

Post-race toe. It got much, much darker. I was terribly excited about having a race wound, such a badge of honor!

The same day as the marathon you had your first gymnastics exhibition. Your dad and I weren’t able to go, but your lovely grandpa took you. He loved it. He said that all the athletes walked into the gymnasium to the theme from the Olympics–oh, how I wish I could have seen that! Anyway, here you are with your much loved coach, Ms. Ita. The two of you totally adore one another.

Playing outside our apartment on Gilmore. Our new apartment has a lot of green space, so no more drawing in a gravelly parking lot for you.

Funny girls! We are certainly going to miss not living right next door to Kordelia and Lalaini Rain.

Playing “The Cat in the Hat” game with granny and grandpa.

Granny is so cute! She giggled and giggled while she played. She doesn’t like to play games because she gets self-conscious, but she’s so fun when she plays.

Playing Go-Fish.

For your fifth birthday we were knee deep in moving boxes, but we wanted it to be special for you. Your dad went out and got this bouquet of balloons after you went to bed, and granny and I got you a special cupcake. This was the view you saw when you awoke on the morning of the 29th.

Holy granola, kid! That is a gigantic cupcake! Happy to report that you shared with everyone.

The birthday girl, wearing the crown they made for you at school, using your new art set NeeNee made for you.

The Burkerts 3.

So, you are asking yourself, “What in the world is this strange deal?” Well, wahoo, this configuration is how we were able to save your birthday party! Given that 360 days of the year in Los Angeles are warm and sunny, we thought the odds were good that we could have your party at the neighborhood park. Okay, it was freezing and drizzly for your party. Your dad and I were a little bit beside ourselves, but eventually came up with this creative solution.

Pizza in a tent! What could be better?

Cake in a tent!

Granny, NeeNee and I had come up with a bunch of games that you and your friends could play, but it turned out that you all just wanted to play on the playground. Given that we had spent some mental energy on coming up with the games, I thought it a shame to let them go to waste. Here is a picture of Bubba seeing how many saltine crackers he could fit in his mouth. I’m pretty sure he managed 15.

Mr. Burkert. I’m so proud.

Post-cracker letdown.

You, Natalia and Maddy. So sweet.

Love the outfit. You’d never know that it was straight up cold on this day.

Happy Birthday, Kate. Love, Sir Duck of Humiliation Manor

HAHAHAHAHA!

MOVING DAY! Two very excited truckers!

Ten-four, good buddy.

You and Morgan hamming it up at Home Depot.

Yo-yo’s!

Easter egg hunt–happy moment.

Easter egg hunt–sad moment. I think this picture is heartbreaking. We went to meet Julie, Chris, Gus and Harry for an Easter egg hunt at a community center. I was in the bathroom when the hunt started, but when I came out you were standing with your head down and your dad was trying to encourage you to go find eggs. Given that time was running out, I walked over, picked you up and took you out to find some eggs. By the time we got to the playground, all the eggs were gone and you were left empty-handed. You were terribly disappointed and sad, which explains this portrait of an upset fairy. It makes me sad for you that you get so overwhelmed by crowds. Your dad has this same struggle and I know it has had its difficulties for him. We both want you to be able to fully enjoy every opportunity that comes your way.

A much more manageable Easter egg hunt at our apartment with Morgan and Mattie.

Counting your teeth so that you can fill out your “My Book About Me”. This is a book that you, your dad and I all have in common. I got mine from a teacher, Ms. Amy. She gave me and my best friend, Lisa Hamilton, the books as presents. I don’t know where my copy is anymore. You are filling out your dad’s copy, right next to his entries. Pretty fun.

Your first sleepover…with a BOY! What?!

Wow, those are some morning looks!

Occasionally you swipe one of our phones and send someone a text. They generally know that it’s from you because your tag is $kate$. We don’t really know what this is about, although we joked before you were born about the odds that we’d bear an Alex P. Keaton-type capitalist (reference from an old show called Family Ties).

Random. And funny.

Wahoo,

Many of these blog entries are simply my retelling of events that we go through–a firsthand account of your history. I do my best to just tell the story, although given that I am hopelessly in love with you and trend toward the emotional side, sometimes I use this medium to express all my starry-eyed wonderment, astonishment, disappointment, sadness, etc. I don’t know that I’ve really given you a behind-the-scenes perspective of what your dad and I think about your life though, so I thought today I’d take a moment to give you a glimpse into your life through our eyes. Here goes:

Last night I was telling your dad how much you love the dress GranDan and GranEl bought you in Singapore. I also shared with him that you wanted to wear it to school one day, but were a little nervous because you said your friends don’t like that dress. I believe my advice to you on that day was, “Who cares what your friends like?! If you like the dress, wear it!” Well, you wore the dress to school and when I picked you up, you were sad. Your friends made fun of your dress. Your dad and I were folding laundry as we talked about this. We paused for a moment, looked at each other, then immediately started saying things like, “Screw her stupid little friends! They wouldn’t know fashion if it hit them upside the head!” Very mature, parents.

It’s hard, little doodah. We have to say certain things to you in hopes that you will be able to see things from varying perspectives and have a general positive outlook on life, but sometimes we just want to say, “Kate, life can suck and sometimes people just blow. The end.” In danger of being cliche, I’ve heard it said that having a child is like wearing your heart outside of your body. I guess this is an example of that. What’s done to you directly impacts us, very likely from now until forever. I can’t apologize for this–it’s instinctual. I probably should go ahead and apologize on behalf of your father though as he is still planning, come dating time for you, on muttering excessively while cutting the grass in his bathrobe, which will have a gun hanging out of its pocket. As he likes to say, “I want them to think that I’m loaded and just crazy enough to use it.”

So much love to you.

P.S. Tonight you informed me that you really love me except when I pop you on the bottom. I’m hoping that at some point I can return to an unconditional love status. (I was relieved to hear you say, however, that you knew that even when I’m angry I still love you. Yes, baby child.)

P.P.S. Tonight I blatantly lied to you and told you that children who eat their vegetables are better able at spotting coins on the ground. I hope that when you are financially comfortable you will be able to see past this little transgression.

More… Earlier today when you asked me and granny why you can do some things that boys can’t I told you that girls are just smarter than boys. This is not to disparage boys–we love them in all their slower-than-girls’ glory.

Hello, wahoo.

You have a new crew of special friends, although Ringo remains your steadfast partner in crime. One new little pal is a tiny white teddy bear you’ve named Chocolate. Apparently Chocolate comes from parents named Rhita and Dez. We don’t know much about them beyond that. You are very nurturing towards Chocolate. He has joined us for dinner, where you were quite careful to feed him and generally make a fuss over him. One day I thought I’d play into the Chocolate-as-human dynamic by asking if Chocolate had enjoyed his walk that you took him on, and you looked at me like I was crazy and said, “Mom! He’s just a stuffed animal!” Well, see if I try to suspend disbelief again!

You also have a little threesome that you pal around with: the troll, the smurf and the gnome. They’ve also eaten dinner with us. I filled up a mug with some lettuce and you fed them. You worry quite a bit about where they will sleep, and on more than one occasion your dad and I have found the troll tucked into our bed. One night your dad had the audacity to move the troll from the dead center of our bed to the dresser. When you found the troll the next morning, you shouted, “This is HORRIBLE! The troll cannot stand up all night!”

In other news, you informed us the other day that you’ve been sick with consumption. Your dad and I were both a little stunned. I wasn’t aware that people still got consumption, and I certainly wasn’t aware that you knew anything about it. Well, apparently you got consumption from eating “slimy dog food” last Wednesday. You said it tasted “horrible”. Maybe this is your new word.

Another little tidbit for you: One day I was calling for your dad and yelled out, “GC!” His name is Geoffrey Cyrus, so I oftentimes call him “GC”. Well, you cracked up, then started to call your dad “Juicy”. You and I have had a great time referring to your dad as “Juicy Burkert”. Juicy and Chocolate–yes, it’s quite a family we have here.

You are fun to watch right now. You are starting to do things that I can remember doing as a child, which is neat. You love to play school, and will play with Duck, your stuffed animals or your friends. You seem to be a very good teacher, although you can be quite the taskmaster. Poor Duck never seems to be following along particularly well, but you are patient with him. I can remember playing school as a little girl. I loved grading papers in particular, and would make red inked check marks like cursive c’s.

You have figured out how to swing by yourself, which doesn’t seem like a big deal at all until you consider that it’s taken you almost five years to do it! Bravo, kiddo! You are really very pleased with yourself. Your dad took this video the other day when we all went to the park. It’s funny, mostly because you are so aware of being videotaped. You were very happy before the camera came out, but sort of amped up your joy for your audience.

This is our little neighbor dude, Alfonso. We love him and his family dearly. Of course they might not have known this given that the first time you held him he wound up face down on the floor. The couch is a much safer option.

And now some random pictures:

Mr. Burkert, busy at work again.

Versatile!

So lovely, in spite of the hair.

You make some mad trains, girl!

Failing the dog intelligence test. Well, the two of you are having fun.

He tolerates a lot, but he’s also kind of living the high life.

Dyson tragedy. You saw this and immediately started crying: “It’s one of my Christmas toys!” Kind of funny, wahoo.